I’ve come to the conclusion that men should never enter into a relationship with a woman who is not his intellectual equal and does not provide for herself financially. Some men would tell you otherwise, and argue that there are at least three reasons why they should, which I will gladly dispel as simply not reasonable enough.
Reason 1: He will be lonely!
Reason 2: To fulfill his innate, biological sexual needs
Reason 3: To have children under a structured mother and father environment
These are the only three reasons that I think a man would want to give up his freedom to choose to be in a relationship with a women who is not his equal. These reasons are illogical and based solely in emotions. We are men, and are charged with the responsibility to make rational decisions.
Dispelling Reason #1: He will be lonely!
A lot of people would conclude that the man will be lonely without a partner. This is simply not true for the independent, professional, well-established man.
First, this man has freedom, which means that he can participate in any organization that have members who share similar interest. Thus, if he truly wanted, he could always call up one of his associates who would join him at a local bar, sport’s arena, golf course, or any other location where men dominate the event.
Second, most men have at least a couple of close friends who, if also were not in a relationship, would most likely be available for a conversation that expresses similar intellectually stimulating thoughts.
Third, based on my experiences and conversations of all the males that I’ve heard complain about their relationships, I’ve concluded that most of them are all socially lonely, anyway, despite their contractual relationship. It is a rarity to find a women who can talk on the same level as her man and is interested in the same things. In other words, a man can be in a relationship and still have his partner of the opposite sex deprive him of his need for deep, thoughtful conversation and companionship. Thus, entering into a relationship does not guarantee that a man will not be lonely. But, it does guarantee that he’ll forever be frustrated with the dark fate that he has entered into, short of breaking the relationship off and feeling hurt in the process.
So, for a man, the fear of being lonely should be no reason for entering into a relationship.
Dispelling Reason #2: To fulfill their innate, biological sexual needs
The frequency of sex in the beginning of any relationship, I imagine, is great. At least that has been my experience. The man is happy. Therefore, his need is met. Unfortunately, any man who has been in a relationship longer than a year understands that the frequency and excitement of sex that was established early on in the relationship dramatically decreases. And as the years go on, this frequency continues to decrease to the point where the couple can’t even remember the last time they participated in a sexual act together.
So, the man is once again left “starving” to fulfill his biological sexual need. If he is a good man, he will not stray. He will accept his fate and “get it” whenever his partner allows him access. But, keep in mind that his partner has no obligation to do so, and if he “takes” it, it would be rape. In taking this retrospective look, the man could clearly conclude that he would have been better off by himself since he is now receiving sex at the same frequency as though he was simply “hooking up” every so often.
Dispelling Reason #3: To have children under a structured mother and father environment
Most, if not every man who truly, unconditionally wants children, jumps for joy when he eventually has them. They should bring purpose to his life. There is no greater feeling than providing for his children financially, emotionally, and morally. A man who is able to see his children grow into adults who become great contributors to our society is noble, in deed.
The problem, however, with this reason is that the strong desire to have children often overshadows the “hidden” incompatibility with the person of whom he has children with. The selection of his partner is usually done while in lust, and therefore he often compromises his personal values or desires, and doesn’t yet understand the concept of love vs. in-love, when irrational decisions are always made.
So, more often than our society should see, the man who had the strong desire to have children is stripped of his privilege to raise them in a structure environment after the mother and he ends the relationship, when they decide that they had chosen poorly. The courts choose the mother to retain custody. So, now the man will only be allowed to “borrow” his children.
But if he does stay in the relationship for the sake of his children who he wanted so dearly, he finds himself trapped, and he and his mate will simply exist. He owes his woman and his children this respect, but the independence and freedom that he had as a single man has been sacrificed for the bum deal that he got himself into.
There are simply no logical reasons for a man to enter into a relationship with someone who is not his intellectual equal and who does not provide for herself financially. He has too much to lose. He gives up too much of his freedom, and he gives up his ability to do what he wants, when he wants.
Men are often lonely in their own homes when they find out that their women would rather watch television reality drama shows, read about the latest celebrity, or go shopping, than to have a conversation about whatever it is the man is interested in. The frequency of sex dissipates over time in relationships, so he has to settle for what he gets. And, his children will come and grow, because there are only so many children one can have with his one partner.
After the sex and baby making diminish, the man is left only with his partner who he should be able to communicate with intellectually. And, in order to protect himself, his partner should not be dependent. She should be in the position to maintain the household’s same standard of living that they both equally enjoy in the event that he loses his job, and given the likely chance that she decides that she no longer wants to be with him, he doesn’t have to worry about the courts siding in her favor, splitting half of everything that he worked all his life to achieve.
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DisclaimerThe opinions expressed on this blog are mine and represent my views only. I have very strong opinions, but am also an open-minded individual. If you refute my view with supported, educated and well-argued points, I could very well change my opinion.