Why I Will Never Have Another Child

The other day, I wrote how reflective and intellectually stimulating my trip to Punta Cana was. Specifically, it was reflective and intellectually stimulating because I had shared hours in a conversation with someone who asked me questions that I had never prepared answers for.

On a side note, which is probably something that I should write about sometime, those type of questions are the epitome of what it means to be challenged, whether by a man or a woman. 

One of those questions pertained to whether or not I would someday have another child. The question was, “say you met a woman who you were really interested in, one who appears to be all that you want but she has never had any children, yet she wants children. You would have to tell her up front whether or not you would ever have another child. What would you tell her?”

I have been asked whether I would ever have another child before, but never have I been asked the question under such emotional pressure. Usually the question came via a casual phone conversation or email. This time, however, it was asked in a different way, under the pressure of losing the possibility of ever seeing this friendship develop into something more. Although the geographical distance between myself and the woman who posed the question makes it highly unlikely to develop into anything more, the pressure of what she represented made the question super-intense.

She represented all the future woman who would ask such a question down the road. And within the first few dates with these future women, I would have to be clear in my answer. I couldn’t say, “maybe” just to hold on to them. That would certainly be the selfish thing to do, and that wouldn’t be fair to them.

So, after careful thought, I finally said that my answer would have to be “no”, and I preceded to explain why.

It was at this point that I realized how limited my possibilities are, in terms of having another relationship.

Being in a relationship in and of itself for me is scary because of two factors: