WTF Does “Live in the Moment” Mean?
Live in the Moment…
It seems that this phrase is very popular. In the last week, I’ve been told by two different people, I need to just “live it up, and live for the moment.” Apparently “living in the moment” means that one should have a ”free-spirit.” And to have a free-spirit means to do what feels right, and what makes you feel good, right now, without thinking about the consequences of the actions.
Someone who lives in this manner is ”about that life.”
What life?
I guess the definition of “that life” is one filled with fun, and “fun” is synonymous with the uninhibited use of things such as alcohol, sex, food binges, and spending sprees? A person who lives “that life” knows no bounds. They don’t worry about the outcome of their future. Hmm…
I guess a life with no restraints does sound pretty fun, right? This is especially true because this is what our culture has cultivated as fun. And this fun is supposedly linked to happiness. Anyone who doubts this needs to look no further than what’s arguable the most influential people attitude changer, the media. The media often presents imagery of happiness by showing people who are spending, eating, dancing, and drinking alcohol. These people are always smiling. So why wouldn’t someone be “about that life” and take on the burden of an unlimited supply of ”fun?” Once people catch on to this idea of a perceived happiness, they start affecting their peers, who in turn affect others. It’s a vicious cycle.
But, why shouldn’t someone buy whatever they want, when they want? Why shouldn’t someone drink whatever the number of drinks a friend ,who is also drinking, places in front of them at the bar. Afterall, these things will make them happy “in the moment,” right? Of course. There are no arguments here. In fact, to a person who always lives in the moment there is no concept of consequences. Their attitude is based upon the motto, “you only live once.”
To each his or her own, I guess.
I just wish those same people understood that there exists a lifetime of other moments after the moment that they just lived in. And in the after moments, there are possible negative consequences for the actions that were just done. People who spend money in the moment often find themselves riddled in debt. People who eat in the moment often find themselves obese and riddled with obese related health issues. People who drink in the moment may find themselves killing others or maybe even themselves in an alcohol related car crash, or a year or two without a driver’s licence.
Even though life should be lived as one sees fit, it’s probably smarter to live a live that does regard the fact that there are potential negative consequences for each of our actions. Stop with the bullshit excuse that ”you never know when you’re going to die, so you may as well live it up” because that’s exactly my same point. What happens if we outlive the consequences of our poor decisions. Statistically speaking, there is a greater chance that we’ll face the latter. If not, insurance companies would just wipe their asses with morality rate tables and determine that no one is insurable.
Therefore, I choose not to “live in the moment.” I’m a thinker, and am glad that I have such a personality. I will always weigh my decisions against all possible consequences that I can think of at the time that I make the decision. Will I still choose stupidly sometimes? Of course. No one is perfect. But I’ll hopefully make fewer bad decisions, relatively speaking, than the “free spirit.”
Ironically, the same people who live in the moment are often the same people who end up less happy in the long run, if compared to those who take the time to think about their actions. Though I’ve done no research to this point, I’m dogmatic that I theorize correctly. I’ve spoken to a sufficient number of older and arguably more wiser folks who have told me that they wish they had made better decisions in their life.
I want to know and understand how my purchases will affect future spending, how having a night of meaningless sex can lead to a lifetime of child responsibilities, or how eating what I want when I want will make me have to work harder to maintain my shape and health. I don’t want to end up working all of my life because I chose to spend all and save nothing. I don’t want to end up in another marriage or stressful relationship because I choose to ignore bad but obvious red flags. I don’t want to end up with two or more “baby mommas” because I didn’t use protection.
A live in the moment type of lifestyle is not for me, and it should probably be for no one.
Readers: What is your concept of a “live in the moment” lifestyle? If you think I’m missing the point, can you help me understand what I’m missing?
7 Responses to WTF Does “Live in the Moment” Mean?
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I think of “living in the moment” as taking advantage of opportunities that I might once have been inhbited about. Risking oneself doesn’t have to be noisy, expensive, or harmful. It can be rewarding and life-changing. My wife and I just celebrated our twelfth anniversary. We met online when that was a new thing, both of us discouraged by the usual meet-ups. We’ve been doing the unfamiliar and risky ever since, but not in the hedonistic sense you’re desribing here. I think everyone needs to have a definition of what they want in life-and then go for it. Imitating others who seem to have more “fun” isn’t the best choice for most people. But sometime you have to find that out the hard way, as in preventing wealth.
Congratulations on celebrating your anniversary. I wish you many more. So, I’m thinking that you are equating living in the moment with taking a chance on seizing an opportunity, or taking risks? Am I correct? I’m not risk-adverse. I just try my best to take calculated risks or opportunities after weighing the pros against the cons. The living in the moment that I’m referring above is the completely hedonistic type. This is the type that always seems to come up. “Oh, you only live once, go to the club every day, pay for ‘bottle service’, buy what you want, you can’t take it with you, etc.” In these cases, I definitely prefer not to live in the moment so that I can, as you stated, prevent wealth. I’ve already made enough, unconscious live in the moment mistakes. Now, though, it’s time for me to mature. Thanks for the comment.
I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s parallel to the hedonistic version-seizing an impulsive momentary flash of opportunity to do something you didn’t plan on doing. Sometimes it’s sexual, sometimes romantic, sometimes altruistic, sometimes selfish. But I’m so fucking cheap it had better not cost much or anything!
Don’t get me wrong. I completely understand that sometimes we all have impulses desires. Sigmund Freud stated that it’s our Id. The Ego is what suppose to keep the Id in check, but often times the Super Ego truimphs the Ego.
Anyway, I have definitely “lived in the moment” and will do so plenty of other times in the future. I just want people to understand that it’s probably best not to glorify living in the moment and take on the “you only live once” lifestyle in every decision made.
I’m not saying that every decision that is not carefully considered is bad, either. As you know, I too, am cheap. But it does feel great to splurge whenever I’m around my closest friends because it is not every month, or even every quarter that I get to hang with them. I can easily spend $1000 on a visit. The difference is, for someone who doesn’t actually have this type of money to spend, their “in the moment” will hurt them a lot more than it would hurt me.
I don’t consider the phrase “live in the moment” as synonymous with “you only live once (YOLO) so engage in stupid behavior.” I view it as being mentally and emotionally present in the events of your life instead of just going through the motions, or allowing negativity to cloud your thoughts. When I’m having fun (which is usually pretty cheap and not dangerous), the mistakes of yesterday are the past and the stress of work that morning doesn’t matter anymore so I can fully enjoy whatever I am experiencing without needing to overindulge.
Camesha has the same lens I do, but she’s probably better at living it than I am am.
Thanks for stopping by, Carmesha. So I guess that’s why it’s important to always get clarification from the people who say things like. The folks that were saying this to me, though, made the term synonymous with YOLO.