I’ve already come to my own logical conclusion that a successful independent man (or woman) should only enter into a relationship under two main conditions–with someone who is his (or her) intellectual equal and who can “hold their own” financial. And I’ve also determined that no one should compromise their personal values and desires just for the sake of being with someone.
I really don’t think that many people understand the many facets that are involved in a relationship: devotion, loyalty, passion, intimacy, trust, sacrifice, compassion, communication, respect, effective communication, maintenance of physical and mental attractiveness, et cetera, et cetera, [choose your own input], et cetera.
Maintaining a relationship is a struggle in and of itself. It’s one giant piece of work that too many people take too damn lightly. Hence, many people who realize this too late often give up on their partner. It is after they fall out of love that the true love begins, which is what they never took the time to understand. Like I’ve stated previously and am convinced of now, there is a difference between being in-love and loving someone. Relationships are hard, hands down.
Some people will argue that I’m scorned, bitter, or whatever, and that I should just “go with the flow.” But, I’d argue back that through my own personal struggles and growth, and through the experiences I’ve learned from others, “going with the flow” can cause a lot of pain and suffering, and can end up costing people lots of money. It takes a lot of “sweat and tears” to keep a relationship together, much like it does for a committed friendship. And I, for one, think that once someone commits themself to a relationship, this committment is, in the words of the music artist Andre 3000, ”forever, forever ever, forever ever.”
Once you look at a relationship from this perspective, the decision to commit into a relationship will become a lot harder. Without this perspective, people can simply get involved with the idea that if the relationship doesn’t work out they can just leave it. That may work for some, but that’s not going to be the way that I’m going to approach a relationship. I don’t want to end up in a relationship with someone who I would have to eventually let go when they grow unhappy, or because they think that the “grass is greener on the other side“.
This is why it is important to build a friendship with a prospective partner, first and foremost.
In other words, if I wouldn’t want you as a friend, why on earth would I want you as a partner? Think about it.
How long have you had your closest friend whom is not your partner? What qualities do he or she possess that keeps you two together? Why would these qualities be important for your friendship, but not in your relationship?
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DisclaimerThe opinions expressed on this blog are mine and represent my views only. I have very strong opinions, but am also an open-minded individual. If you refute my view with supported, educated and well-argued points, I could very well change my opinion.